The Narrator (Yours Truly)


“We came in a big bang. It could have been the first, or the second, or the tenth. The truth is there is no telling. We came with or after the earth, but certainly not before it. That fact is irrelevant, however, because regardless of our timing and what existed before us, we changed it.

I like to believe that I am a personification of the universe at this particular point in space and time. The epoch of the gods – it has a nice ring to it. I wish I could say my ‘belief’ was a true belief – an idiosyncrasy of my person – but it fails to measure up. It’s more narcissism than anything: a personification of the universe – made in its image… I sound no better than mankind. Philosophies of existence are just cries of inadequacy – the desperation of wanting to be more important than we actually are. Philosophies of death: they’re as easily answered as stepping over the ledge. My mountain is not high enough for epiphany, however. For you it is, but for me it isn’t. We gave mankind the ability to philosophize. That is what we changed. ‘We changed everything,’ there is my narcissism flaring again. All we raised was the next great question: Does it even matter? I hate existentialism.

At the time of first consciousness the earth, the oceans, the stars and planets, and all the creatures in between (with the exception of humans) existed. The order of things was marvelous! So unadulterated and balanced. Then we asked the question: what brought us into existence and why? What, or whoever, created us the way we are did so with a particular agenda in mind – the purpose of our functioning. We arrived at the conclusion that we were created in the likeness of the universe. We are the embodiment of its flawlessness – the infallible creation. After that realization it was obvious that our purpose was to propagate the universe’s image: i.e., ourselves, by creating creatures in our image that will help facilitate the process. We experimented with the genetics of Homo Erectus and its siblings to create, or recreate, biology. Our addition to the genetic makeup, the true prize of our mental engineering, was the ability to philosophize, to expect more than just survival. That addition, our addition, altered the course of evolution. We taught what we called ‘Man’ our language, we showed them our crafts, and we nurtured a growing intellect. As Man learned our culture it began to change, becoming more like us in speech and appearance until it resembled us entirely. There’s a curveball for creationists!

We did not know Man would ask the same question we asked when we first gained consciousness. Though we should have expected such. It was actually quiet flattering if you ask me. ‘Why are we here?’ they said! ‘What is the meaning of life?’ the asked! They grow up so fast, don’t they… A piece of the philosophy must have been lost in translation though, because the answer Man arrived at was praise. Praise of who? Your’s truly, of course. None of us argued with their epiphany. We are worthy of praise after all. The universe sure does have a big ego.

There you have it; the schema of creation. More like impregnation. I have a new question, a new philosophy to ponder: is our creation of man the first instance of rape? The rival consideration: stockholm syndrome.

About Connor Wilkins

Quickly, quickly... take your seat. Our storyteller is about to begin. Shhhh. Listen... His pipes are fluting emotions of myth and fable, but don't be fooled by fantasia for there are truths hidden within his unworldly tellings. We're drifting now... back in time to a world only he remembers.
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